There’s not much unconditional or guaranteed in life that won’t break your heart. Everything else really sucks…it hurts…and you can feel like you’re alone. You’re lonely, you’re reserved to it. That’s how it goes, mostly.
But there are a few things that can sneak in, to make your life more whole. To remind you of the positive. And, that taking things for granted or trying to put the pieces of your heart back together will be and is always a struggle you’ll have.
My kids…I know they always love me because I am a part of their every breath, I take care of them through nourishment, through lessons of life. Because I am their mom and that is comfort and it is home.
The sun rising…as it promises a new day. A chance to start again, like a reboot every morning, our bodies are charged, energized, ready to take in new information. It’s warmth and it’s shine brings that absolute awe.
A good and genuine conversation…could be with anyone. A significant other, a peer, an acquaintance. Your friend that gets you, a sibling, yourself. Sometimes being truthful to yourself can set your mind free from doubt and confusion and hatred and sadness.
A dream…real or imagined in slumber. It can open your mind to possibilities you hadn’t known existed. It can help you declutter. It can help you organize. One’s mind can race and race and race…and race, until all you see is a blur…a fucking grey blur! My dreams…I’m thankful to have some clarity after a day such as that. I won’t get all the answers but WHO EVER DOES? My dreams remind me that I’m a good person, that I have goals in mind and sight. That I’m not “just here” but actually present.
Today is a Wednesday. I had a huge fight with my husband. I am a tired mom. A friend is being aloof. My coffee is already lukewarm. The baby is sleeping soundly. My emotions get the best of me. I felt like writing these down. That’s it. That’s all it is.
Experiment in Trying. Short Essays on My Life. 