Tag Archives: kids

Sometimes There’s Much and Sometimes That’s All It Was

There’s not much unconditional or guaranteed in life that won’t break your heart. Everything else really sucks…it hurts…and you can feel like you’re alone. You’re lonely, you’re reserved to it. That’s how it goes, mostly.

But there are a few things that can sneak in, to make your life more whole. To remind you of the positive. And, that taking things for granted or trying to put the pieces of your heart back together will be and is always a struggle you’ll have.

My kids…I know they always love me because I am a part of their every breath, I take care of them through nourishment, through lessons of life. Because I am their mom and that is comfort and it is home.

The sun rising…as it promises a new day. A chance to start again, like a reboot every morning, our bodies are charged, energized, ready to take in new information. It’s warmth and it’s shine brings that absolute awe.

A good and genuine conversation…could be with anyone. A significant other, a peer, an acquaintance. Your friend that gets you, a sibling, yourself. Sometimes being truthful to yourself can set your mind free from doubt and confusion and hatred and sadness.

A dream…real or imagined in slumber. It can open your mind to possibilities you hadn’t known existed. It can help you declutter. It can help you organize. One’s mind can race and race and race…and race, until all you see is a blur…a fucking grey blur! My dreams…I’m thankful to have some clarity after a day such as that. I won’t get all the answers but WHO EVER DOES? My dreams remind me that I’m a good person, that I have goals in mind and sight. That I’m not “just here” but actually present.

Today is a Wednesday. I had a huge fight with my husband. I am a tired mom. A friend is being aloof. My coffee is already lukewarm. The baby is sleeping soundly. My emotions get the best of me. I felt like writing these down. That’s it. That’s all it is.

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The Kids Ate All of the Strawberry Pop-tarts and There Aren’t Any Eggs

Well, it’s 7:40am here and I’m ready for breakfast. I have been awake since 6:30am listening to my husband’s morning rituals…always exactly the same 1) sit up and stare at alarm clock for 10 seconds give or take, 2) shuffle to kitchen to start the coffee, 3) shuffle to the living room to turn on his current news crush…currently The Today Show, but previously Robin Meade and prior to that I believe it was WPTV5 for the weather girl, 4) search for some breakfast food to eat with his eyes closed, 5) shuffle to the bathroom to turn the light on, 6) shuffle to the closet to take out his pants, his shirt, his belt in that order! 7) shuffle to the bureau for fresh socks and shorts 8) shuffle off to the bathroom for primping.

FINALLY! I can get back to sleeping!

This morning, though, the baby is flopping around next to me in the tempurpedic. Knee in mommy’s back…nope, not comfortable. Heel on mommy’s ear…not quite yet comfy. Smelly diapered butt in air right next to mommy’s face…ah, juuust riiight!

I guess this means I should tend to the little golden child. After getting him situated with a clean diaper, a cup of milk and a breakfast cereal otherwise known as Goldfish (forgive me…he was wailing and I haven’t yet had any coffee), I gave my goodbye to the hubby and tried to settle in for a bit more of cuddling with my blanket, so warm and enticing.

But, no…mommy is not going to sleep anymore today. Let’s play and giggle and fart in mommy’s face while she lies there in a half-coma! This all from a 20 lb. child that I should be able to control but I just can’t seem to without my coffee!

I decide I might as well get up and make the damn coffee and check the various news feeds I frequent while the baby watches his Sprout cartoons.

I search for something to have with my medium roast delight…peanut butter and toast…nah, don’t feel like it. Cereal…nope. Banana…nope. Strawberry Pop-tart…suuuure. But, wait, it’s not there. Three boxes of various flavors WERE there but now there’s only half of one box left. And, it’s NOT strawberry…grrrrrrr.

I’ll just make my normal scrambled eggs and cheese then. But, all hopes were dashed as I remembered my husband used the last five eggs to make brunch. I’m so sad…

I reluctantly choose the lonely Brown Cinnamon Pop-tart in its foil wrapper, left behind by its companion that was snatched up and eaten in the middle of the night by a pesky teenager. I finally resign myself to this dry pastry because I’m just in the mood for something sweet and a sugar rush is not always a bad thing, especially when attempting to eat sugar-coated cardboard.

As I take my first bite, I look over to check the baby and I see his eyes glazing over as the warmth of his blanket envelopes him…that little bugger is falling back asleep!

And I’m now wide awake!

Oh well, good morning, fellow bloggers, fellow coffee drinkers, fellow moms and dads, fellow zombies! Hope you have a great day!

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