Almost Forgetting Oneself…Thank Goodness for Those Teenaged Years

She motioned to me that she wanted to leave
And go somewhere warm, where we’d be alone
I do not know, what’s going on but I’m guessing
It’s an all night thing, yeah, it’s an all night thing

Those lyrics were in my head last night as I was falling asleep. The sweet, smooth, powerful voice of Chris Cornell from Soundgarden and Audioslave fame. This song, All Night Thing, a part of a little known yet awesome album by Temple of the Dogs (a merging of members from both Pearl Jam and Soundgarden) as a tribute to a friend who died so young.

Poetic musings to a jazz beat, starting softly and then belting it out in that rock-grunge fashion, making me feel every emotion of every line sung. Sing it, baby! Wooh!

I’ve always loved that song since the first time I heard it. Funny how things that touched you so like that as a teenager can stay with you even twenty years later. Back then, I’d listen to that album on repeat, actually one of the first CD’s I had ever purchased from that mail order service they used to have…pick 19 CD’s for a penny, or something ridiculously incredibly awesome like that.

I was so fascinated by the lyrics…what did it mean, did this really happen, would this happen to me? It was my teenage fantasy not so dissimilar to that of a fairytale princess waiting for her knight in shining armor. Yet much more mysterious, more forbidden. I had just started dating my first love, you see, so the hormones and reason were pretty much out of control. I would push repeat on that song until I tired of it, letting the CD go on to the next and next, all such good songs, but definitely different tones and moods.

I even took colored pencils to paper once and wrote the lyrics out, drawing a dead tree, a moon, a dark sky. That’s what we did before iPad doodling or searching Tumblr for THE perfect meme to describe your emotions. I still have that piece of artwork and I cherish it and cringe at it, all the same. Let twenty years pass by and you’ll understand why.


As the days turn from one to the next, you sometimes forget who you were as a young adult finding yourself. You look at people and situations with scorn now. You scrutinize and demean, in an all-knowing megalomaniacal way. You forget to dream because you’re older now.

I listen to this song today and I still get the same feelings I did at sixteen. It haunts me. It moves me. I’m reflective. I wonder. And, that pleases me, it means I’m only partially jaded.

Song Reference: Temple of The Dog, All Night Thing.  A&M Records, 1991.


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